Reflections Of A Tired Servant At Peace

Justin, Camp Commandant of CCMC Church Camp 2025 addresses campers at the start of Camp.

To God be the Glory! I would like to start by giving thanks that camp was a resounding success! I say this not because of the attendance or because everything ran without a hitch (there were, in fact, many bumps). 

Camp was a little bit different compared to last year. While I believe last year brought a spiritual awakening on a personal level for many campers, what I saw in camp this year was a church learning the joy of being God's community, which is why I felt compelled to take on this task in the first place. 

I've always felt Church Camp is one of the rare opportunities for our church to gather as one body to get a taste of heaven, being surrounded by a community made holy by God's presence; I hope the campers caught a glimpse of that too.

However, instead of sharing the heights of joy that this camp has given me, I would like to share two low points that brought me to tears this camp and the lessons I learnt through them.

1. Opening Worship 

I would be lying if I didn't admit that the planning process was truly a test of my patience and gentleness. Those who are near and dear to me would also know that I am direct and to the point, sometimes being at risk of being rude. It was not an easy process in the weeks leading up to camp, with critical deadlines from camp and work overlapping just two weeks before camp. 

As queries and administrative tasks piled up, I could sense that I would soon be running on empty and just a small spark would cause a major detonation within. By God's grace, I made it to camp intact but with cracks showing. 

I was crawling to the finish line just happy to have made it, but my mind defeated, adopting a "bochap" attitude, ready to accept that if things fall apart, it shall be so. 

By God's grace, traffic was smooth for all the campers. By God's grace, extreme patience and grace was shown despite a long drawn out check-in process. By God's grace, enthusiasm remained in all their faces as games commenced and all participated actively. 

And yet, I was still in the mindset of "let's make it to day 2".

By God's grace, when worship started for the first session that night, I was moved to tears. I wasn't defeated or in anguish, I was comforted by God. As a praise leader, a simple yardstick to gauge my service has always been how is the church singing?

That night, I heard the church singing as one voice, loudly praising His name. It reminded me that I did not set out months ago to run a camp; I set out to create a space that the church could gather to commune with God. It was an assurance that I had not strayed from that vision and God was truly where His people gathered. I was not magically filled with strength, just a gentle assurance that my work was not self-seeking but genuinely in service.

2. Hectic Emergencies 

The second time I cried happened on day 3 of camp. With workshops underway and campers fully engaged, we had our second medical emergency at camp. While everything was swiftly and expertly managed by our camp doctors (all campers made it back to Singapore in good time and health, amen!), in those moments of rushing around to get help organised, tears swelled in my eyes.

I just felt so, so tired as the weight of it all struck me. There was never any sense of helplessness but the enormity of what we were actually doing at camp sunk in. In an uncanny parallel, we were dealing with both the physical and spiritual lives of our campers.

In the case of the medical emergencies, I had placed full trust in the camp doctors. These are the experts with years of experience, what would I know that could even contribute? So why then did I have the audacity to feel like I had to be responsible for the spiritual experience of the campers when God was clearly showing Himself at camp?

A group discussion during camp.

During one of the discussion sessions, a group mate shared that sometimes when we pick up our cross to follow Jesus, perhaps we pick up the wrong cross and end up focusing on the wrong things. Sometimes when serving can get too hard or tiring, maybe it's truly because we have forgotten whose cross we bear?

So while camp was rewarding and joyous, my main takeaway is that service is not easy. 

In 2 Corinthians, Paul writes that "My (God) grace is sufficient for you, for My (God) strength is made perfect in weakness.” This implies that our Christian journey will be hard and challenging, not always easy and smooth sailing. Often, our service doesn't produce immediate results that we can celebrate. My prayer is that we press on, relief may not come soon, but the Lord will definitely give us assurance that He is in control above all.

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Photos by Edy Lee, Natasha Oh, Kenneth Koh and Sandy Chian.